Mehfil-e-Rashid محفلِ رشید
GHAZAL IV

I Was Prepared

میں تیار تھا

Maiṅ Tayyār Thā

The Story

I knew all too well that his days were numbered. The night before he passed, I told my girls he would most likely suffer a cardiac arrest and not recover. I kept the ledgers of his health: his sugar, his protein, whether he walked, whether he skipped the dessert. And because his life was a love affair with words, I knew the day would come when I would have to choose my own words to honour the editor, the writer, the poet. I practically rehearsed his eulogy. I thought that made me ready. It did not. Once the funeral was done and the people left, the quiet of the house taught me what none of my knowing could.

  1. For every end the mind had thought, I was prepared;
    by all his failing heart had taught, I was prepared.

    موت کی ہر بات کے لیے میں تیار تھا
    وقت کے صدمات کے لیے میں تیار تھا

    maut kī har bāt ke liye maiṅ tayyār thā
    waqt ke sadmāt ke liye maiṅ tayyār thā

    For everything death could say, I was ready; for time's every blow, I was ready.

  2. I told my daughters, calm as glass: he will not wake,
    as if, foretelling what fate wrought, I was prepared.

    بیٹیوں سے کہہ دیا: اب وہ نہ جاگیں گے کبھی
    جیسے اُس اک رات کے لیے میں تیار تھا

    beṭiyoṅ se kah diyā: ab wo na jāgeṅge kabhī
    jaise us ik rāt ke liye maiṅ tayyār thā

    I told my daughters: he will not wake again; as if for that one night, I was ready.

  3. His sugar, protein, morning walks. I kept the books,
    a son's arithmetic, so fraught. I was prepared.

    قند، قدم، غذا کا روز حساب رکھتا تھا
    بس انہی حسابات کے لیے میں تیار تھا

    qand, qadam, ghizā kā roz hisāb rakhtā thā
    bas inhīṅ hisābāt ke liye maiṅ tayyār thā

    Sugar, steps, diet: I kept the daily count; it was only for those accounts that I was ready.

  4. A poet's son must not stand wordless at his grave;
    for years I chose, revised, and sought: I was prepared.

    شاعر کا بیٹا قبر پر گونگا کھڑا نہ ہو
    برسوں سے کلمات کے لیے میں تیار تھا

    shāʿir kā beṭā qabr par gūṅgā khaṛā na ho
    barsoṅ se kalimāt ke liye maiṅ tayyār thā

    A poet's son must not stand mute at the grave; for years I had the words ready.

  5. Then the last mourner left, the quiet took the house,
    and all my knowing came to naught. "I was prepared."

    آخری مہمان گیا، گھر میں اتری خامشی
    کب اُس ملاقات کے لیے میں تیار تھا؟

    ākhirī mehmān gayā, ghar meṅ utrī khāmushī
    kab us mulāqāt ke liye maiṅ tayyār thā ?

    The last guest left; silence settled on the house. When was I ever ready for that meeting?

  6. "Fear nothing," he said, Imran. So you told the night,
    armored in charts with which you fought: "I was prepared."

    عمرانؔ، انہوں نے کہا تھا: خوف سے آگے نکل
    سو فقط آفات کے لیے میں تیار تھا

    Imrān, unhoṅ ne kahā thā: khauf se āge nikal
    so faqat āfāt ke liye maiṅ tayyār thā

    Imran, he had said: walk past fear. So it was only for calamities that I was ready.